Lyrics:
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Chorus:
Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles
Cats with the clap and the crabs and the piles
Cats with their assholes wreathed in smiles
As they revel in the joys of fornication.
The crocodile is a funny animile
He rapes his mate only once in a while
But when he comes he floods the Nile
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
The camel has a lot of fun
His night's complete when he is done
For he always has two humps for one
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
The baboon's rear is an eerie sight
His asshole gleams like a neon light
And when he comes, he lights the night
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
The monkey, good as monkeys go,
Erect he stands a foot or so
So when he comes, it's time to go
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
Now the donkey is a lonely moke
He very rarely has a poke
But when he does he lets it soak
And he revels in the joys of fornication
Now the elephant is big and round
A small one weighs a thousand pounds
Two together shake the ground
As they revel in the joys of fornication
Now the vampire bat is out of luck
He very rarely has a fuck
But you should see that little bugger suck
As he revels in the joys of fornication
Now the poor old tortoise in his shell
He can't do it very well
But when he does, fucking hell
As he revels in the joys of fornication
Now the poor old spinster is feeling kind of blue
She can't screw like the other people do
She buys three bananas and eats the other two
As she revels in the joys of fornication
Now the twenty-seven verses, all in rhyme
To sing every one of them would be a crime
When we could better spend our time
Reveling in the joys of fornication
Other verses, some more perverse
When you wake up in the morning with the devil of a stand,
From the pressure of the liquid on the seminary gland,
If you haven't got a woman you must take it in your hand,
As you revel in the joys of masturbation.
When you wake up in the morning with a bellyful of joy,
And your wife has got the rag on and your daughter's rather coy,
Then jam it up the backside of your youngest, plumpest boy,
As you revel in a smooth ejaculation.
The Regimental Sergeant Major leads a miserable life,
He can't afford a mistress and he doesn't have a wife,
So he puts it up the bottom of the Regimental Fife,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
The labors of the poofter find but little favor here,
But the morally leprous bastard has a peaceful sleep, I fear,
As he dreams he rips a red-un up some dirty urchin's rear,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
Little Mary Johnson will be seven next July,
She's never had a naughty, but she thought she'd like to try,
So she took her daddy's walking stick and did it on the sly,
As she reveled in the joys of fornication.
Poor old Mr. Bengelstein, whose morals we doubt,
He wanders round with his noodle hanging out,
And when he sees a wench it up and hits him in the snout,
As he revels in the joys of fornication.
Long-legged curates grind like goats,
Pale-faced spinsters shag like shoats,
And the whole damn world stands about and gloats,
As they revel in the joys of fornication.
Now I met a girl who had a great rear,
And she gave me a dose of gonorrhea,
Fools rush in where angels fear,
As I reveled in the joys of fornication.
The lady by the seaside was feeling very blue,
She saw the children at it, and she thought she'd like it too,
So she bought three bananas -- and she ate the other two,
As she reveled in the joys of fornication.
A thousand verses all in rhyme,
To sit and sing them seems a crime,
When we could better spend our time,
Reveling in the joys of fornication.
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