Lyrics:
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There was a young man from Racine
Who invented a fucking machine
with concaves and convexes
It worked for both sexes
But it beat up his balls to a cream.
This same young man from Racine
Improved on his fucking machine
with concaves and convexes
It worked for both sexes
But sure was a bastard to clean.
This ingenious young man from Racine
Perfected his fucking machine
with concaves and convexes
It worked for both sexes
And played with himself in between.
There once was a man from Madrass
Who's balls were constructed of brass
When jangled together
They played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass!
A fairy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it!"
There once was a woman named Alice
who used dynamite for a phallus
They found her vagina
in South Carolina
and bits of her tits fell on Dallas.
The once was a young girl from Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway;
She said to her man,
"Get off the divan,
I believe I've discovered one more way!"
There once was a couple named Kelly
who walked around belly to belly
because in their haste
they used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly.
There was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I am a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save".
There was a young lady who begat
Triplets named Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding
'Cause she found there was no tit for Tat.
There was a young student from Boston,
Who drove around in an Austen.
There was room for his ass
and a gallon of gas.
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.
There once was a young man from Ghent
Who had a penis so long it bent
It was so much trouble
That he kept it double
And instead of coming he went.
There was a young girl from Cape Cod,
Who thought babies came only from God.
T'wasn't the Almighty
Who lifted her nightie.
T'was Roger the Lodger by god!
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