Lyrics:
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Some friends and I in a public house
Were playing dominoes one night
When into the room a fireman came,
His face all chalky white
"What's up?" says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost?"
"Have you seen your Aunt Moriah?"
"Oh my Aunt Moriah be buggered," says he,
"The bleeding pubs on fire!"
Chorus
Oh, there was Brown, upside down
Lapping up the whiskey on the floor.
"Booze, booze" the firemen cried
As they come a-knockin' at the door.
"Don't let 'em in till it's all drunk up
And somebody shouted, "MacIntyre" [MacIntyre]
And we all got blue blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire.
"Oh," says Brown, "What a bit of luck
Everybody follow me!
It's down to the cellar, if the fire's not there
Then we'll have a grand old spree!"
So we all went down with good old Brown
And the booze we could not miss
And we hadn't been there ten minutes or more
Till we were quite like this
Chorus
Then Smith ran over to the port wine tub
And gave it just a few hard knocks.
He started taking off his pantaloons
Likewise his shoes and socks.
"Oh no," says Brown, "That t'ain't allowed.
You can't do that ting here!
Don't be washing your trotters in the port wine tub
When we got Guiness beer".
Chorus
Then there came a mighty crash and
Half the bloody room caved in!
We were almost drownd by the fireman's hose
And we hadn't finished the gin.
So we got some tacks and some wet old sacks
And we packed ourselves inside
And we sat drinking the finest rum
Till we were bleary-eyed.
Chorus
Later that night, when the fire was out
We came up from the cellar below.
Our pub was burned. Our booze was drunk.
Our heads was hanging low.
"Oh look", says Brown with a look quite queer.
Seems something raised his ire.
"Now we gotta get down to Murphy’s Pub,
It closes on the hour!"
Chorus
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